Okay, this is not meant to be one of those, I’m single and I need no man to define me posts and its not meant to offend anyone who needs a semblance of a social life. BUT there seems to be a large stigma for girls that they NEED a boyfriend, and that they need to get married at a certain age and they yearn for a dream guy every day and won’t be fulfilled without one…blah blah blah.
Oh and all those movies that barely pass the Bechtel test and are all about girls going for the guy (check out the test here http://bechdeltest.com) It seems to be a huge thing in some peoples world to have this five year plan, and get married and have kids by 30…yeah no thanks.
Here is my thing, when one of my girlfriends gets a boyfriend I expect the sort of One Tree Hill gossiping about said boy, not to be ignored by that friend as soon as they get a boyfriend. People this has happened to me, more than once and frankly it sucks.
The topic of boys in general, yes I like them, I have nothing against them. However, I do have a problem with the whole idea that you should have a boyfriend in high school, and that you should be married by a certain age, or that you need a man and you’ll be happier. Like, okay, I am 19, I had one disastrous (okay maybe not disastrous) date, and that was last year, 18 years old…first date EVER. My friend from kindergarten who has been my date to all formal events does not count, don’t even try. My point here is right now I am trying to find me, and if that happens to involve a boy, than it does, but I will not go out of my way to find one and make that my priority. GIRLS its okay to be you, and embrace you, by yourself. It’s okay to go to events by yourself. It’s okay to focus on getting a degree before you get married.
If we look at every rom-com we see, they are all about a boy, all about getting the guy and falling in love and living happily ever after. Now, in the shows I watch I don’t get much of this. Take Orphan Black for example, most of Tatiana Maslany’s clones are not engulfed in boy drama, this is not to say that there isn’t any, but the focus of the show is the clones finding themselves, not the clones finding a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Now, it is human nature that one needs companionship to lead a healthy life but does that mean pushing out other friendships as well? Mostly, I wish more girls and women knew that maintaining friendships is just as important as maintaining intimate relationships.
Maybe I’m an anomaly, but many women are afraid to be single…except I love my alone time. I love not be bothered while I’m crafting or reading and not having any social responsibility, its actually the sweet life…for now at least and this is the only area of my life I don’t want to plan (surprisingly). Eat pray love people, well more like eat eat laugh, but you get the idea.